I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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