i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
