he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Farmville is her only friend.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
