Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
