just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
