thus making me awesome and them whores
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
