I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize