watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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