Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
