Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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