STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
