Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
