I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
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