His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize