After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize