So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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