Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
