quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
