so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize