Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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