My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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