her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
