Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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