you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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