Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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