Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
