i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
