We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
