Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize