Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's just like the Real World with babies
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
