he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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