my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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