haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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