Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
