It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you win again, gameday.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
