I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
