I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
