I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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