I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
