We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
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I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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