I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
