Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
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I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
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somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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