What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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