awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
