I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
BRING THE BAGELS
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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