they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
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I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
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You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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