Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
