she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
