I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
