Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
