he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
