I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
