This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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