I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
only you would photoshop your dick
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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