btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
