Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
