Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
false alarm. still invincible.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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