so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
