feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
