Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
