this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
