he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
