I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
