i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
