If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
