My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
