Who did Billy Mays play for?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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