Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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