can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
zippers are such a cool invention
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
