Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
