this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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