are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
