I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
